The Southern Belle

THE SOUTHERN BELLE: A graduate of the Tennessee Junior Cotillion, this Southern Belle endured years of white gloves, foxtrot lessons, and dance cards to launch her into her marriageable years. Which was super helpful. Regardless, she still crosses her legs at the ankle like a lady and is so very glad to meet you. Belle isn’t necessarily looking for a fairytale, but she’s prepared just in case. Proficient in two languages, Southern and Yankee, she’s an avid reader, loves her momma and porch swings, hates humidity, is a fan of big blockbuster action movies, and doesn’t understand people who don’t care about college football, bless their hearts. Scarlet O’Hara is her idol, cause let’s be real: bitches get shit done.

The Ice Queen

THE ICE QUEEN: This blog’s resident Ice Queen spent her formative (i.e. college) years abjuring the (academic) society of men. Having never endured the indignities of a frat party or the sheer horror of college bro culture, she remains categorically unimpressed by most of the men (boys?) she encounters as a 20-something lady dating in the digital age. (Though it is also quite possible that her standards are just the teensiest bit too high.)  Queenie tends to find her gentleman callers rather dull—or, at best, perfectly mediocre—in comparison to her fabulous and fascinating friends. An introvert at heart, she would much rather spend the evening Netflixing with The Intimidator (her roommate) than *shudder* conversing with strangers but is prepared to risk heartache and disappointment (LOLz, as if) for the sake of Science, Research, and Not Dying Alone.

Wanted: Single M, 26-35. Must have a sense of humor and/or an (un)healthy appreciation of pop culture. Love of cats, TV, and running a plus. Philosophy majors and man-children need not apply.

The Tough Cookie

THE TOUGH COOKIE: 

She’s a born and raised Midwesterner, but don’t let this girl next door fool you—she’s one Tough Cookie. Full of sugar and spice and everything nice, but with a pinch of salt and sarcasm for good measure. She can be found happily holed up in her little corner of Brooklyn or adventuring around the city, but in any scenario she won’t stray too far from a cup of coffee and a book. She’s tired of forever recapping dates with the phrase “it was fine” and would welcome a new descriptor. Likes beer, bakeries, traveling, and running. Dislikes olives.

Wanted: Single M, 26-37.  Thoughtful, considerate, determined go-getter. Non-clinger. Lover of lounging.

The Intimidator

THE INTIMIDATOR is not nearly as intimidating as her name suggests. Unless you have a penis. Then all bets are off. It’s not her fault boys can’t seem to handle a smart, sexy, confident woman. Or at least that’s what her friends keep telling her. A true cat lady at heart, she’s here to tell you blondes really do have more more fun…even if it’s just drinking wine with her roommate Ice Queen and watching Netflix.